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And now, without further ado...your questions answered!
Q: Why can't you have a baby "the normal way?"
A: Simply put, I had surgery a few years ago that made it impossible for me to have any more children. That's all! However, there are women out there who choose not to carry their own children for slightly more unusual reasons. For instance, we heard of one woman pursuing gestational surrogacy because she "doesn't have time to be pregnant." George and I both hope this woman has enough time to raise her baby!
Q: Why don't you just adopt?
A: Our decision to have a biological child is a very personal matter that we have chosen not to post on a public blog. However, we do want our new baby to have a sibling close in age as our blended family includes three older children who are all best friends. We want our next child to have this same sibling bond, and, if we do not have enough embryos left after this gestational surrogacy, we will adopt a child close in age to our surrogate baby.
Q: Can your gestational surrogate "steal" your baby?
A: No, she can't! This question often makes us laugh to be honest! As the baby will be 100% ours genetically, our attorney will process a document called a "Pre-Birth Order" (P.B.O.) in the fourth month of our gestational surrogate's pregnancy to ensure that our names are placed on the baby's birth certificate. Additionally, we were matched with our surrogate through a law firm that only practices reproductive law. You can learn more about our agency, Reproductive Possibilities, here. And lastly, we've already established an amazing bond with our gestational surrogate, and, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to take our baby home from the hospital after she gives birth. ;)
Q: Have you been matched with a gestational surrogate?
A: Yes, we have! Our surrogate has granted us permission to post about her on our blog, so, here we go! Our gestational surrogate's name is Ashley, and, she is simply amazing. For a woman to be so selfless as to commit to giving us a baby is nothing short of a miracle. George and I were matched with Ashley and her husband the week after Christmas of 2011, and, Ashley and I have been in touch practically nonstop ever since. In fact, we have grown so close that I, along with my sister Jenna who has also met Ashley, consider her to be family. Our relationship definitely will not end after our baby is born - in fact, our Intended Parent Coordinator said she has never seen a more perfect match when the intended mother (me) and the gestational surrogate get along so well. We were finishing each others sentences the first time we ever met, and, Ashley has become somewhat of a sister to me who just popped into my life when I was 35 years old. She's a saint!
Q: You've had health problems in the past. Are you sure it's a good idea to have a baby?
A: Again, this is another question that makes us laugh! For starters, this question is kind of rude. In recent years I did suffer from horrible pain due to a herniated disc I developed after a car accident.
One of the major factors in my decision to undergo spine surgery to correct this problem was my desire to have more children. Beyond that, unless Irritable Bowel Syndrome is considered a medical reason not to have a child, we're in the clear. If anybody needs more assurance beyond what I've listed here, I was forced to undergo a grueling physical and *tons* of lab work to make sure I was healthy enough to do this. So, please rest assured...RMA Philadelphia would not allow a "sick" woman to undergo this process.
Q: Are you crazy???!!! Your kids are so old and going back to a diaper bag is very difficult - plus you're 35 years old!!!
B: Um, no, I am not crazy. The last time I checked, the age of 35 (or 36, the age I'll be when our child is born) was still considered "young enough" to have a child. Being as though I shockingly have the ovarian function of a 25 year old, I think I'll be just fine, but, thank you for your concern. As for going back to the "foggy baby days," it's a transition no matter how old your other children are. Occasionally women tell me they "hated" having children so far apart in age. Yes, these are the same people who ask if I'm crazy. I never verbally respond to such comments, but, I do feel sorry for the women who make them.
Q: What are you going to do if you have twins?
A: Um...raise them? Oh...and,I guess we'll have to buy a bigger home to accommodate the newest members of our family.
Q: This whole process creeps me out.
A: I can't do anything about that. Sorry, not helpful, I know!
I think that covers the most frequently asked questions George and I are asked. Again if you have a question for us, submit it in the "Comments" field below and we'll gladly answer it for you!
Cheers!
Love your outlook and responses to the very bold and humorous questions. Heck, I'm 44 and I've considered doing exactly what you're doing. I also have a friend who is about 40 and just had a surprise baby and she said that she is less stressed out and enjoying raising a baby at this stage of her life. She has enough experience as a parent that she doesn't sweat the small stuff as much and really is enjoying having a baby many years later. You're going to rock this, Suzi! I know it!
ReplyDeleteSherri I could cry - thank you so much for your loving comment! And, I say if you're considering doing this yourself, go for it! Now that I'm getting into the deep stuff, I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have from a real IP's perspective!
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