More of Your Questions Answered!

After our last post  of questions and answers, we received a few more questions about gestational surrogacy that we are very happy to answer.  Since my last post was long and kind of snooze worthy, I'm going to skip the rambling here and cut right to the chase!

Without further ado, our second Q&A post!

Q: Now that you've finally begun the surrogacy process, what emotions are you feeling?
A: This is an awesome question that I am asked all of the time!  If I allow it, my emotions can run all over the map and become completely overwhelming.  Let's face it...this is a huge deal with so many factors involved that is is very easy to get lost in the process.  First and foremost, my primary concerns are for Ashley and our little bambino.  It's kind of funny - now that someone else will be carrying my baby for me, I often say I feel like the husband of a pregnant wife.  When Ashley is pregnant, I have no doubt I will worry about their well-being constantly.  But as of this moment, a lot is on my mind, and, I'm learning how to take a deep breath and take everything one day at a time.  If I allow my mind to wander, I become overwhelmed thinking about what drugs I have to take on each day, and, I worry that I'll somehow screw the whole process up by making a mistake with my medication.  Thankfully, the nursing coordinator who is managing our case has been doing this for quite a while, and, she's made it clear I can call her every single day if I have to, so, that's been reassuring.  Additionally, I find myself panicking when I think about where I have to be on what day.  For instance, soon I will have to go to RMA Philadelphia every other day for blood work and ultrasounds, and as I get closer to my retrieval date, I'll have to go to RMA every single day.  They have been honest with me and told me my summer will essentially be over in the end of July. This information was helpful as I at least know when I can coordinate trips to our beach house, etc.  At the end of the day, my friend Carin summed it up best for me when she told me to just take everything one day at a time to keep the worry from taking over, and, that is definitely helping a lot!

Q: Now that you've had spine surgery, will you be able to carry the baby?

A: Yes, it's true...one person did ask me this question LOL!  In all fairness, my arm strength was about obsolete immediately after my surgery, so, a whole lot of physical therapy was in order.  Physical therapy is an ongoing process for me, but, I have been doing a lot of cardio work on my treadmill to rebuild my endurance, and, I've been working with resistance bands to rebuild my arm and core strength.  I also have been doing abdominal exercises as a strong belly is almost essential to having a strong back to support.  In all, it was that surgery that made it possible for me to hold and care for a baby, not the other way around.

Q: Are you going to choose the baby's gender?

A: Though science does make such a thing possible, George and I never considered (and never would consider) gender selection.  Some people do this for medical reasons which I completely understand, however, George and I don't have any genetic conditions that we are aware of that would make it necessary to undergo this process.

Q: What do you want - a boy or a girl?

A: Honestly, I just want a "healthy!"  I will feel incredibly blessed with the baby God chooses for me, and, I know George feels the same way...though he and Nick feel it would only be fair if we had a boy to try out even the score in our predominantly female household!

Q: When will you find out if Ashley is pregnant?  Are you going to tell us right away?

A: We will know if Ashley is pregnant  around the middle of September - maybe earlier.  I don't plan to share the news of a pregnancy until we have confirmed our little munchkin's heartbeat.  So, if I start acting funny when the kids go back to school, you'll know why.  ;)  If our first attempt at an embryo transfer is unsuccessful, I will be honest and share that news as well.

Q: Are you going to have twins?

A: I have no idea!  I'm often asked if I can plan to have twins, and, it may be possible at least attempt to conceive twins, but, I don't think a doctor can guarantee you twins...really, he can't guarantee us anything beyond giving us a shot at having a baby.

Q: Are the kids excited to have a new baby?

A: I can't speak for all of the kids, but, I do know Maddy and her friends always tell me they can't wait to see the baby, and, they're already offering us their babysitting services! 

Q: Are you going to breastfeed?

A: Probably not.  There is medication I can take to produce milk, however, breastfeeding is just not my thing.  I honestly hate the breastfeeding issue because some people are so passionate about it that they can be mean to women who choose to feed their babies formula.  But, I'm not worried about those types of people - I don't have the time to!

Well, I guess that's about it for now!  If you have any questions I haven't already answered, please send them on over!  I'm like an open book when it comes to gestational surrogacy as I feel it is important to be as open and honest as possible with such a sensitive subject.

Be on the lookout for my next post, which will include a photo of all of my medication!  I'm hoping it will all fit in one photo LOL!

Cheers!

Ready...Set...Go!

Hello friends; long time, no blog!  You may be wondering where we've been...and, that would be, in limbo.  At our IVF nurse appointment, George made it very clear that he wanted our baby to be born after his "busy season" (lingo for "tax season") as he intends to take the first few weeks off after our baby's birth.  George doesn't want to miss a beat of our baby's start in life outside of the womb, and, being as though he's a CPA, he wants the baby to arrive after his busy season so he can enjoy those precious first few weeks home with our little coconut.  In fact, he's already talking about handling midnight feedings - am I lucky or what?!

So, what's new?  Well, this week we finally began the medical portion of our journey - we're so excited!  The stage we are at now is informally called "monitoring."  The purpose of monitoring is to see where I am in my cycle as Ashley's cycle will have to be synchronized with mine.  Typically, both the Intended Mother (IM) and the Gestational Surrogate (GS) are put on birth control to simplify synchronization.  However, due to my history of a pulmonary embolism, Dr. Castelbaum feels it is safer if I do not take birth control pills, so, Ashley is going to start taking the pill, and, her cycle is going to be medically adjusted to synchronize with my natural cycle, which will be left alone.

Due to my previous blood clot, I have to take Coumadin while I am on the hormones required to overstimulate my ovaries.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, Coumadin is no picnic!  My new, thin blood can be a real pest sometimes (for example, if I nick myself shaving, you'd think my shower looks like a crime scene).  Check out the picture below, which was taken an hour after my blood draw this week.  Ick!

See?  I bleed right through the gauze - this happens with band-aids too!

Anyway, my first monitoring blood test was done this week.  My hormones were nice and low, which indicates my eggs are still quality little suckers at age 35.  Praise Jesus!  My egg quality has made me nervous since George and I came up with this crazy baby-making idea, so, it was a relief to hear that things are still looking good!

This week's blood draw indicated I was at day three of my cycle.  So, I have an appointment to go back in about a week and a half to check my hormone levels again after I have ovulated.  Around that same time, Ashley will begin taking her birth control pills to begin preparing her body for our embryo transfer.

Also, this week, all of our drugs were ordered.  Holy Hannah!  I almost choked when the drug provider told me how much our medication will cost.  It's so outrageous that I don't even feel comfortable posting the drug costs here, but, let's just say we're crossing our fingers and our toes that some of it will be covered by our health insurance provider!  Anyway, our drugs are being delivered tomorrow, and, I will be sure to post a picture of them to give you a better idea of what it takes to make a baby this way!

We also began the process of purchasing Ashley's health insurance for the next few months.  It's actually pretty tricky - the plan we are buying for her provides excellent benefits and it covers gestational surrogacy...with one catch.  Ashley cannot be pregnant before we purchase her health insurance, so, we're now in that "scrambling phase" where we have to get the application process done quickly as her new insurance must be in place before her embryo transfer.  According to my cycle, it looks like the transfer will be in the end of August, and, it takes four to six weeks to activate the health insurance, so, the clock is ticking on us!

So, that is where we stand now.  I'm also going to post a second round of questions and answers as more questions have poured in, which I love!  It thrills Ashley and me when people ask us questions as having an open dialogue with skeptics really helps us change their perspective on the gestational surrogacy process.

Thank you for taking the time to read our blog!  We love receiving comments and questions, so, as always, fire away if you have any - they make us smile!

Cheers!