Let Me Tell You About Ashley

Hello friends - happy Friday!  Wow, what an amazing week!  Little Bean showed us just how tough he or she is with a thumping heartbeat and a perfect increase in size, leading the doctors to give us the all clear to go public. The amount of love and support we received after we shared our news was just so heartwarming.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

So, you all know a lot about me by now, but, I'm not sure you know too much about Ashley.  Well, let me fill you in...

I first met Ashley during the December holidays last year (2011).  We met over the phone during a conversation that was mediated by our Intended Parent Coordinator at Reproductive Possibilities.  Now, I don't think there is any "right way" to manage the nervousness such a phone call can induce.  Let's be honest here - George and I were trying to see if this was the woman we would choose to care for our baby the same way we would, and, Ashley was trying to see if we were a couple she felt she would want to help by taking on a very, very hefty responsibility.  Think about it this way - would you be willing to endure a ton of hormone injections that make you feel horrible only to be followed up with getting pregnant...with another couple's baby?!  If you can, imagine the icky feeling of morning sickness combined with a slew of side effects from hormone injections, all in the name of giving somebody else a baby.  Takes a warrior, doesn't it?

Ashley, Benjamin, and me the day they flew home after our transfer.  Yes, I know my jugs are on full display.

Now, before George and I met Ashley through our agency, we tried matching with a surrogate independently.  First of all, we thought this would save us some money.  Secondly, we thought this would give us the opportunity to get to know a potential surrogate better.  Well, both of these reasons turned out to be wrong and wrong.  For instance, one surrogate told us she wanted to carry our baby so she could use the money she earned to build a porch onto her house.  Really?  Another sounded good...until we learned she was on disability and trying to earn extra cash.  Independent matching?  Complete failure.

So, during that first phone call, George and I knew instantly that Ashley was the woman we wanted to carry our baby.  She agreed with us that we are all God's children, and, she was on the "will not abort list" just like George and I were.  We were also finishing each others sentences during that first phone call, and, we quickly realized Ashley was a strong woman who wouldn't take anybody's crap.  Sound like anybody you know?  ;)-

Ashley bought and gave me this sign for good luck the day before our transfer.  It now rests on my nightstand where it will remain until I design our baby's nursery.

George and I have grown to love Ashley and her family, and, we want you to know just how awesome Ashley is.  There are way too many amazing things about her to list in one post, but, I'm giving it my best shot.

First of all, Ashley is an amazing wife and mother.  She is the glue that holds her family together, and, she rocks it out.  I've met her husband and her son, and, watching her parent her son in person was awesome - she's raising happy, respectful children.  When Ashley and her son went back home after our transfer, I cried, George didn't want to put his booster seat back in the shed, and, even the kids said the house wasn't the same without them.  Thankfully, Ashley has started to use FaceTime so we get to see her kids because we love them so much!

Next, there is the reason why Ashley is doing this.  She's never discussed money with me...EVER.  Instead, she told me she simply wants to help someone, and, I wholeheartedly believe her.  She has been put through the ringer medically, and, her schedule is disrupted at least once a week with doctor's appointments...all to help US.  Really, I don't know how she does it.  In addition to running her family, she also manages a busy hotel in her home town! 

The night before my egg retrieval, I burst into tears out of fear that my egg retrieval would not give us the results we wanted.  Who sat next to me and comforted me?  Ashley.  When I cried because I felt like I was a failure to George due to my lack of a uterus, who comforted me?  Ashley again.  During our transfer, when George and I sat in the operating crying (happy and scared tears), Ashley remained calm and her facial expression said it all - she KNEW this was going to work, and, she KNEW she was experiencing a miracle.

Simply put, Ashley is considered a miracle to our family.  She has sacrificed time with her family, time at work, and her body to give US a baby.  For weeks she's been injecting herself with hormones that make her body feel pregnant...when she already is.  She's been so sick that she has to take prescription nausea medication to give US a baby.  And you know what?  She never complains...EVER. She's become an honorary member of our family.  Nobody takes this amazing gift she's giving us for granted.  We all know she is making our dreams come true, and, we will probably never be able to tell her how truly grateful we are.  She's giving us a miracle, and, there simply are no words for that.  All we can do is promise to be kick ass parents to our baby, and, remain great friends...whether Ashley likes it or not, she's stuck with us, and, there is no finer lady I'd want to care for our baby for nine months.  Ashley, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

xoxo

We're Back!

Welcome back readers!  Over the past few weeks I missed updating my blog and feeling the love from all of you.  But, the past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, and, I was definitely not comfortable posting anything too early.  In fact, I'm even a little nervous right now as I type this, but, I promised to be upfront and honest with all of you. Therefore, I think it's only fair that I provide the update many of you have been waiting for.

I know, I know...get to the good stuff.  In what has possibly been the worst kept secret ever, we are pregnant!!!  We have known for four weeks, and, I'm actually surprised I didn't cave and scream it from the rooftop before today!  I am highly superstitious, and, I've been terrified that making an announcement would be bad luck.  However, now that the baby's heartbeat has been detected, and, the baby's measurements are perfect as well as Ashley's pregnancy hormone count, the doctors have given us a little room to breathe now.

How Did it Go?
When I last updated my blog, I was preparing to have my egg retrieval.  This was done on Saturday, September 1st.  All along the doctors had been hoping to get about 12 eggs out of me.  To everybody's sheer delight, we were able to retrieve 20 eggs!  That same day, 13 eggs were fertilized, and, 11 took.  Here's a picture of me crying after I woke up in the recovery room and was told 20 eggs had been retrieved!

Me...20 eggs lighter

Over the next few days after my retrieval and fertilization, the embryologist called daily to give George and me updates on the development of our embryos as well as information for our transfer date.  Often, it is more desirable to transfer the embryo(s) five days after retrieval.  However, by day three, we had six textbook embryos, so, the doctor and embryologist agreed our chances of success would be higher if we transferred on day three.  So, on Tuesday, September 4th, our two best looking embryos were transferred to Ashley's uterus.

Watching the transfer was surreal.  We were all in an operating room (George, Ashley, and me) in our sterile gowns without makeup or perfume.  We might not have looked (or felt) too hot, but, none of us took that special moment for granted.  George and I held hands the entire time, and, Ashley looked so peaceful.  It was almost as if her facial expression was telling us we were taking part in a miracle.  Not to mention, watching our little embryos transfer into Ashley's uterus on a large monitor screen was pretty amazing.  I couldn't believe one of those tiny eight-cell embryos could be our child.  There are just no words to describe it!

Our "textbook" embryos...a.k.a "Thing One & Thing Two"

Ashley and me all suited up for the transfer, which took place in an operating room.  Yes, I know I look awful, but, embryos don't like chemicals like perfumes, etc., so, Ashley and I both decided to go sans makeup.

After my egg retrieval and Ashley's transfer, I really began to pity George.  First and foremost, Ashley was on bed rest, and, there was no way I was going to allow her to lift a finger at that time!  Additionally, my ovaries were huge after my retrieval, and, this caused a whole lot of cramping.  Ashley and I both had nausea to boot - her hormones had taken a toll on her, and, the antibiotics I was prescribed post-op were wretched.  So, we took turns alternating from the couch to the recliner while George fed us and ran our home as Ashley and I slept...a lot!  We were both given Zofran for nausea, and while it worked so well, it also knocked us out cold! 

The Two Week Wait
WOW.  "The Two Week Wait" was just as anxiety-inducing as I'd heard!  Ashley and I were *so* stressed out.  We actually knew pretty early that we were at least pregnant as a home pregnancy test (followed by many more for confirmation) came back positive.  We were excited, but nervous too, as we'd heard of chemical pregnancies, positive tests for pregnancies that were not fairing too well, etc.  So while this was a great start, it certainly wasn't Scripture, and, we knew we would only be able to know exactly what was going on when Ashley went for her first beta HCG test on Monday, September 17th.

I have pictures of several home pregnancy tests...but I think this is the best one :)

So, Ashley and I sat around all day that Monday waiting for her lab work to come back.  As the clock kept ticking and the phone never rang, we both became concerned that something was wrong.  Um...nope...the computers that had Ashley's lab results on them went down!!!  Ugh!  When our IVF nurse called to tell me she wouldn't be able to give me the results until the next day, I burst into tears!  Eh, at least now I can say I'm a survivor of the two week wait!  Thankfully, our IVF nurse called first thing the next morning to tell us Ashley's blood work was awesome and that we'd be moving on to weekly ultrasounds and lab work to monitor the pregnancy's progress.

Seeing "Little Bean"
When Ashley had her first ultrasound (called a "pregnancy ultrasound" to confirm that she is indeed pregnant), we could see the baby's sac and yolk sac, which is what will feed the baby.  Ashley hit George and me up on FaceTime so we could watch the ultrasound with her.  We could only see a slight shadow of the baby, and, it looked like a stem.  To my complete surprise, I looked at George, and, he had taken his glasses off because he was crying.  Seeing the baby for the first time, no matter how teeny tiny, just made him melt.  I don't have any pictures of that ultrasound; I honestly didn't think to ask since we couldn't really see the baby.

Now, the next week (Wednesday, October 3rd), we did see the heartbeat for the first time.  Cue the hysterics!  I cried almost the entire day - I was just so happy to see this teeny tiny little baby George and I created, and, it was just amazing to see that little heartbeat.  This is when our baby earned the nickname, "Little Bean."  Our reasoning is simple - take a look at this photo and you'll see the baby simply looked like a bean!

Little Bean's first photo!

As our doctor told us the risk of a miscarriage decreases significantly after a singleton's (one baby's) heartbeat is detected, George and I chose to wait another week to make sure everything was still going well.  So, last night, Ashley had another ultrasound, and, we couldn't believe how much Little Bean had grown!  Take a peek and see!

Little Bean last night (October 9th)

So, this is where we stand right now.

Keep the Prayers Coming
As always, we are asking everyone to please keep the prayers coming!  The love and support we have received over the last few weeks has been tremendous - our massive support group has made this so fun and exciting for us, and, when I become a nervous wreck, someone is always there to talk me off of the ledge!  And, of course, no matter how great everything looks and regardless of the statistics which state our chance of a miscarriage is extremely low, it's my nature to be a worrier, so, I'll always ask for prayers for our little miracle!

What's Next?
We have passed the point where weekly ultrasounds are ordered, and, we won't see Little Bean again until next month.  I'll miss our weekly visits via FaceTime, but, I know Little Bean in great hands under Ashley's care.  And, this is actually a milestone to celebrate - our pregnancy is going so well that it's time for us to move on to the next stage.  Our gender ultrasound will be in early January, and, George and I will be flying to Ashley's home town for that scan and to meet the amazing doctor who will be delivering our baby.

I'll keep posting updates now that the cat is out of the bag as I still have plenty of things to chat about!  But, for now, I think this post was a pretty good start.  ;)

Thank you all again for your support!  The texts, emails, and phone calls have meant the world to us.  We are truly so grateful for the love and support Little Bean is getting!

Chat soon!