Hello from Texas!
Well, without allergies, who would I be?
Honestly I don’t know! Texas is known
for many different kinds of trees, Mountain Cedar is one of them. They are so thick just north of San Antonio
that they seem to “poof” pollen! I just
hope baby bean doesn’t feel the same way I do some of these days.
As you have heard Suzi say recently,
Surrogacy is not for the light hearted.
I have learned and grown so much through this journey. From the bullying that takes place on the sites,
to my own personal convictions. Let’s
start with the bullying- we are adults!!!
Grow up!!! Seriously. These people, I swear, sit at their computers
all day long waiting, stalking, and lurking to find someone to jump on! It’s sad.
It doesn’t bother me anymore, yes, it used to; but I have everything I
need in my life to feel fulfilled. I
don’t need a stranger to do it for me.
Hormones- I’ll say it… they suck!!! I seem to
be a people pleaser; whom am I kidding? I AM a people pleaser. It bothers me when I think someone is mad at
me! Add hormones to the mix, I’m balling
my eyes out every couple of days because I think I have pissed someone
off. Usually that is not the case. I quickly remember (with the help of last
Sunday’s- Sunday School Lesson) that the only one I have to “worry” about is
the man upstairs!
What about my
“personal convictions” you ask? Well, this past year has not been easy. Like we have said before, surrogacy is not
for the weak. My dad, who is now 71
years young, was diagnosed with Colon Cancer in October of 2011. We met George and Suzi in December. (Just to give you a time frame) Doctors put
my dad on chemo, some abrasive stuff, hoping that it would make a dent in what
we now know to be some terrible stuff.
He finished one round and hadn’t made any changes. At this point, we knew that it was Stage 3;
based on what information my Dad has given us.
In July, I butted in and said, “You promised you would fight, now
fight!” My dad is just as stubborn if not more stubborn than I am. He fought, went back on a new trial of chemo
and he fought! We transferred in
September. My dad has never been a
quitter and neither have I, so I wasn’t ever going to back out of something
that I had already committed to!!
Shortly after we transferred, my mom and I found out that Dad had not
shared the whole truth with us. He has
Stage 4 cancer! Took me a few days to
get over this blow; add in the pregnancy hormones, I was probably not the person
to come across. LOL. In December, Dad
decided he was done with the chemo. As a
chiropractor, he hated being on all those chemicals and wanted to treat it
naturally. We thought that his quality of life would be better without it. Fast forward to the end of January. Dad celebrated his 71st birthday
in the hospital. Cancer said F you and
landed him there for a week. At this
point, we have been given a timeline of about 6 months.
Surrogacy is not
for the weak, period and end of story! I
am so thankful that baby Hope is with me and that I am able to help her get to
the family she belongs to! It is such a
gift. Sometimes, it is the only constant
in my life and it seems to be going by so fast!!!! The little kicks that remind me to slow down
and enjoy her, the hiccups that wake me up early in the morning; all of these
things remind me to slow down. I don’t
have to concur the world, or even attempt to.
If you take anything away from this forever-long post, take away this. Take the time to stop and “smell the
roses”. “Don’t sweat the small stuff,
because in the end, it’s all small stuff.”
Remember its not what you do, its why you are doing it. What will it do for someone else? This is
why, in the midst of the madness, I chose surrogacy. So that I can make a difference in someone’s
life; whether it be my dad, so that he can see what a kid he raised, or a
stranger.
My favorite part of
all of this is still when I get to say, “yes I’m pregnant, but I’m not the mom”…. The stares you get from that statement should all be
framed! Oh so funny!!!
