Before you continue reading, you must know that I'm in a disgusted state of mind. I'm warning you now - my grammar isn't too polished here. I know you're wondering what's up with the title of this post, and, my explanation is pretty simple. Over the last few weeks I have seen things posted on Facebook pages dedicated to surrogacy that have really pissed me off. I thought about not commenting on such filth, but, when I started this blog one of my main goals was to educate relatives, friends...really anybody who wanted to know exactly how this process works. As such, I feel it is my responsibility to make it crystal clear that gestational surrogacy is not for the weak. It is an amazing experience, but, to date, I have never met an intended mother or gestational surrogate who didn't hit a bump in the road on their journey. What has my panties in a bunch? Read on...
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| I know this photo doesn't compliment this blog, but, I just liked it, so, I'm sharing it with you. |
Sometime last month, I "Liked" a Facebook page that is *supposed* to be a comforting source of information and bonding for both gestational surrogates (GS) and intended parents (IP) alike. I was relatively pleased with the page - its members post cute pictures of their surro-bumps, and, we all get to cheer on IP's and GS's alike by sending them "sticky vibes" when they do their embryo transfer (sticky vibes = the lining of the GS's uterus is so thick, the embryo(s) will "stick" to it). It's always exciting when we receive a message that someone has discovered they are pregnant, and of course, I love reading about successful GS deliveries.
What I do not love about this page, is this: Out of nowhere, someone posted a string of photos on the page that completely degraded IP's, and what I found to be even more upsetting was the number of "likes" these rude, uncalled for, and inaccurate messages received.
Listed below is a sample of the comments that were Photoshopped into the pictures, and, my response is listed below each statement.
1) You carried that baby for nine months while a nanny reads the baby a bedtime story every night. No comparison.
Really smarty pants? I didn't know gestational surrogacy included a competition over who did a better job caring for the baby these parents wanted so desperately; after all, they spent a fortune on the process. Maybe that mom is working more than one job to pay for her astronomical bills that come with gestational surrogacy. And, here's a thought. Maybe, just maybe, that mom doesn't have a nanny. Hope will be the fourth baby born into our blended family, and, I don't have a nanny, nor do I intend to hire one. I thought surrogacy was a team sport, and thankfully for us, it has been. Ashley went with me for my egg retrieval, and, I sat next to her during the transfer. She's stayed at my family's home and I've stayed at hers. Take that and go scratch.
2) Go ahead and buy something special...because you know those cheap IP's won't buy you anything.
What a complete and utter moron. Most intended parents aren't cheap - they're broke. Again, I suppose Ashely and I aren't the norm, because I've bought gifts for her and her family, and, she has done the same for mine. In fact, I already have the gift I'm giving her at Hope's baby shower plopped in my bedroom...next to a gift I will be giving Ashley's almost four year-old daughter who will also be in attendance. I could elaborate further, but, I won't; Nobody should give gifts with the intention of announcing it to the whole world. I'll just leave it at this: I really enjoy buying gifts for everybody I love, and, shopping for Ashley is even more fun than my normal routine. She's giving me a miracle, and I will never, ever, take that for granted. To the idiot who added this comment to a photo and posted it online, I'm always available to chat and set you straight.
My Message to All Gestational Surrogates: If you feel the need to create "sides" (gestational surrogates vs. intended parents), or, if you are brazen enough to publicly make negative jokes about your intended parents, gestational surrogacy may not be for you.
3) No need to take a break...those IP's will ask you to work on their sibling project immediately.
Now, this one does get hairy. For instance, let's consider Giuliana Rancic's television special during which her gestational surrogate gave birth to her son. The delivery was just beautiful - I cried so hard I had to grab Janie (my Pillow Pet) and squeeze her to help me stop! And then, IT happened...As Giuliana and Bill were saying goodbye to their gestational surrogate when they left the hospital, Bill (jokingly) said, "Hey, why don't you just keep her here and we'll transfer another one." WHAT???!!! I have a hard time believing he would have said something so rude to his wife had she just given birth. So ignorant. You don't hear men making similar comments when their wives have given birth - what the hell made him think she'd want to hop right into another pregnancy?! Now on to George and me...We would never, ever, in a million years even consider asking Ashley to work on a sibling project during the hospital discharge - or the first year for that matter. That is about the rudest thing I ever heard of, but, word needs to get out that not all intended parents are ignorant to their gestational surrogate's medical and emotional needs. Put it this way: If George ever made a comment like that to Ashley, every toe in his foot would be broken from me stomping on it.
4) The idiot who created this image...
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| Really? |
"Why didn't you?"
In other news, Ashley stopped by Sonic this week, and, after drinking her soda she decided she wanted to eat the ice chips. So, *after* she drank her entire beverage, she found this ROACH crawling around in it.
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| What more can I say than, "Disgusting?" |
Well friends, thanks for reading my bitch session. I already feel better letting it all out!
xoxo
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