We Did It!!!

Well folks, all of my snoozer blog posts have led to this moment...the post I have been dying to write about!  I don't even know how to put all of my feelings into this one post, but, an overall summary is that God has blessed me with two more miracles in my life.  I have been blessed by the birth of my daughter, Hopelyn Jane, and I have been blessed by the saint of a woman who cared for my baby as if she were her own for eight months, and most heroic of all, stoically delivered our daughter to George and me, an act that had to be bittersweet, and, Ashley will be posting soon to share her personal feelings with you herself.

So, Hope was Due May 25th.  What the Heck Happened?

Ashley went for an ultrasound on Monday, May 6th, to monitor Hope's weight.  The ultrasound determined that Hope weighed 7lbs. 2oz.  I'll be honest - the baby's weight alone worried me.  I knew a baby who weighed that much at 37 weeks had no shot at making it to term.  George and I had flight reservations to head to Texas on Monday, May 13th, and, we booked our hotel room for a week and a half figuring we'd play the waiting game for a few days.  After Ashley called me that Monday to report on Hope's progress, I felt so incredibly torn - I just knew in my gut that Hopelyn was not going to wait for us to arrive in Texas on May 13th.  That evening I asked Ashley and George if they thought we should fly out that evening, as my mother's intuition had kicked into overdrive - I knew Hope was coming before our scheduled arrival, and, I was sick at the thought of missing her birth.  Ashley insisted that she was not ready for labor just yet, and, George told me we should take a wait and see approach.  Well, we didn't have to wait very long; Ashley called us 12 hours after we spoke (at 6:00 in the morning) to tell us she was fairly confident her water broke and suggested we get on a plane to Texas...stat.  As I was on the phone with Ashley I could hear the pain in her voice that the contractions were causing, and, I instantly knew not only was our baby coming that day, but, she was coming soon, and, we likely would not make the birth.

After our phone call with Ashley, we made our flight reservations, and, we had 20 minutes to pack, shower, and get in the car to head off to La Guardia (naturally, Philly couldn't get us to Texas before 6:00 p.m.).  We must have looked like lunatics - we were literally running to my minivan, throwing in suitcases, Hope's carseat...and the absolute bare essentials we could survive on.  After all, we expected to be flying home the next day.  As we would soon learn, that was another plan that would quickly derail.

George and I had a layover in Atlanta on our way to Texas, and, we were on plane number two when we learned our daughter was born perfectly healthy, but because we her parents weren't there, she was taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) to await our arrival.  This really ruffled my feathers...as a matter of precaution, I sent Ashley an email the night before the delivery granting her permission to care for the baby (if she wished to) for as long as she wanted.  Since I didn't have this email notarized, it was invalid, and, Hope was literally whisked away from Ashley immediately after the birth, something I will always feel terrible about.  I feel bad that Ashley carried this beautiful baby for so long, and when the grand finale arrived, the baby was literally stripped from her.  Likewise, I felt that Hope missed out on the loving care I know Ashley would have provided for her, and instead was left alone in the NICU without anyone to hold her (when we arrived at the hospital, we were told Hope cried the entire time she was in there, with nobody to console her).

As we were washing our hands upon entry to the NICU, I asked our nurse where Hope was.  When she pointed to the first crib right next to us, I put my hand on my chest and could barely speak; I just stood still with my hand on my chest, and, I just cried and cried.  She was just beautiful with her dark hair and complexion, and, reality hit me...it didn't matter that I missed the birth, that I didn't carry her...none of it was relevant.  What mattered most was this precious little angel laying in her crib waiting for us.  Eventually, George stood behind me and sort of pushed me along to Hope's bed as the tears didn't stop.  When we got to Hope's crib, I held her first, and, I couldn't say much of anything.  I remember telling her how beautiful she was, how much we prayed for her and loved her before we even knew she was coming, and that she had a big, wonderful family waiting for her back home.

George couldn't take being in the passenger's seat for long, and, he reached his arms out for me to pass her over to him.  Seeing his reaction will forever be one of the most beautiful moments of my life.  George cried more at that moment than he did at our parents' funerals, our wedding...I never saw him cry so much ever in the years we've been together.  The poor thing's glasses were all fogged up, but, he did manage to muster one line that I will never forget..."Thank you Suz."  As he held Hope crying his happy tears, I wrapped my arms around him and our baby girl, and, I couldn't stop thanking Jesus for that moment.

What Happened After Hope's Birth?

After Hope was born, standard blood tests were performed on her, and, when she was 24 hours old we learned that she was Coombs positive.  Long story short, this meant that Hope was developing a severe form of jaundice, and would have to stay in the intensive care unit in an incubator under bilirubin lights 24 hours a day.  This was heartbreaking for us as we weren't even allowed to hold Hope's hand during her treatment.  In fact, we weren't even allowed in the NICU to visit her unless it was feeding time.  I felt like I had been kicked in the gut, and, that was only the start of our woes.  In addition to the Coombs positive result, Hope also tested positive for bacteria in her blood, which was another reason she would have to stay in intensive care; she had an IV which administered two different types of antibiotics for 48 hours.  In all, Hope spent five days in intensive care.

Tell Us Something Good!

Despite the fact that Hope's birth and NICU stay were not remotely close to anything George, Ashley, her husband Jason, and I had imagined, it was still a magical experience.  Imagine if, nine years ago, your doctors told you having children was no longer an option for you, and, here you are now with a perfectly healthy, precious, beautiful newborn daughter.  It's nothing short of a miracle, and, "miracle" is how our families and friends refer to Hopelyn.  It's a miracle that my eggs were strong enough to make her, it's a miracle that Ashley came into our lives and got pregnant on the first try, and it's a miracle that she's here in perfect health.

Hoplyn was discharged from the hospital at 4:00 a.m. Sunday, May 12th (Mother's Day - talk about an amazing gift!).  We drove straight from the hospital to the airport so I would be home in time to celebrate Mother's day with my children.

Where are You Now? 

 Hope has settled into her current routine of daily snuggle sessions that last hours at a time (if we put her down, she screams within minutes to protest).  At night, she sleeps soundly in her Pack 'n Play right next to my bed, in the bedroom we moved back into just yesterday.  As soon as we moved into my bedroom, Hope began to sleep really well at night, waking up once (maybe twice) at night for a feeding.  Before now, we were living in our family room, which Hope didn't like (I still haven't figured that one out), and, we were up all night.  My poor dad has come to visit twice on two separate evenings, and both times, Hope and I were passed out cold, and, I was so tired I couldn't even get off of the couch either time.  Padre, I owe you a lot of snuggle time with Hopelyn; I'm sorry!


In addition to having parents who absolutely adore her, Hope is lucky enough to have two big sisters and a big brother who absolutely love her.  My two children were always super excited that Hope was coming, but, it took George's daughter a while to come around.  Once she met Hope and gradually became familiar with her, her worry turned to love, and, I am so grateful for our happy, blended family.

Though Hope is here, her story isn't over.  I will keep posting as milestones approach,  and, I'll pop in to provide the occasional update here and there.  In the meantime, check out some of our favorite pictures to to date.

Hope's First Picture (May 7, 2013)

George holding Hope for the first time

Me cuddling Hope on our second day in the hospital

Ashley taking her final belly shot on the way to the hospital and again a few hours later holding Hope

Ashley and her family, who loved and cared for Hopelyn during the eight months she grew in Ashley's tummy

Hope's name tag in the NICU.  All of the other girls had leopard print, and, Hope was the only baby whose name tag had ladybugs (and I believe Hope was the only baby whose birth date was incorrect on her tag).  Her Grammy was with her when she needed her most.  :)

The first time I was able to hold Hope after she went to the NICU

Hope getting ready to leave the hospital.  Her IV was put in the hand she uses to suck her thumb.  :(

Ashley and Jason coming to say, "See you soon!" as we prepared to leave the hospital.

George, Hope, and I getting ready to leave the hospital.

Our flight home was on Mother's Day, so, George told me to let loose on the plane (he felt bad that he didn't have time to buy me a Mother's Day gift, and, I told him Hope *was* my  Mother's Day gift)

On the plane after we landed in La Guardia coming home

Our first night home: Hopelyn and I caught up on the previous week's episodes of my favorite show, Nancy Grace

Big sister Maddy loving Hopelyn

Big brother Nick promising Hopelyn he would always look out for her

Meeting Aunt Renee, one of Hope's three Godmothers

Meeting Aunt Jenna, another one of Hope's three Godmothers

Hopelyn meets her cousins!

Hopelyn today, exactly two weeks after her birth

Next up...planning a Christening fit for a princess!

xoxo