Yes, She's "Mine, Mine."

Hello friends!  Long time no blog...and no wonder!  If you can believe it, I'm teaching one of my babies how to drive and another one how to walk!  I'll be the first to admit that I feel older this go around.  When I had Maddy and Nick I was in my early 20's...having a baby in my mid-late (ahh!) 30's has been quite an adjustment!

Cut to the Chase.  What Does, "Yes, She's Mine, Mine" Mean?

You know what?  In recent weeks I've learned there is still so much educating to be done in the world of surrogacy.  Not just gestational surrogacy, but surrogacy in general.

When Ashley and Jason, George and I, embarked on our journey, it was a gestational surrogacy.  What does that mean?  My eggs and George's swimmers were used to create eight tiny embryos for us to transfer into Ashley's belly (Don't panic - we only transferred two and the remaining six are still frozen!).  So what has my feathers ruffled?  Well, I'll just be blunt here.  I cannot believe the number of medical professionals (doctors in particular) who do not understand that Hopelyn is my biological child.  I don't want to dime out physicians on this blog, but, just this week one rather important one asked me, "Did you have an egg donor?  Because when you hold her, she really looks like you."  Good lord.  Does it not say, "gestational surrogacy" in the baby's medical chart?  I know it indeed does, which leads me to conclude that there is still much confusion about the genetics of these miracle babies, and in the grand scheme of things, surrogacy in general.

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Is she yours?  I mean, I know she's yours, but is she yours, yours?"  Yes, my friends, Hopelyn is, "mine, mine."  I don't take offense to the curiosity, but, I do take offense when doctors ask such questions.  In my mind, they should just understand that when they hear the words, "gestational surrogacy," the baby is my biological child.

I know I'm feeding into the insanity by posting these pictures, but, I just feel compelled to.  Hopefully, they'll help make my point clear.

This is a side-by-side of me and Hope as babies.  Clearly, she's a cuter version of me.

This is Hope's brother, Nick, when he was about three years old.  He always has a chocolate face (even to this day), so, just focus on his facial structure.

This is Hope today, at 10 months.

And, this is us last month.

Why Do You Care What Others Think?

You know, I don't care what people think about me or my family at all.  However, when someone asks, "Is she yours, yours?" I can't help but to wonder about the friends I've made through the world of infertility and surrogacy.  Many of them have used egg donors or chosen traditional surrogacy (in which the baby is made with the father's swimmers and the surrogate's eggs).  I wonder how on earth such questions would make them feel?  It's one thing to ask politely, but for heaven's sake, ask with some polish!  Those of us who can't bear children have been through enough - please be mindful of the roads we've stumbled upon to choose surrogacy to have a baby.

Why Couldn't You Carry Your Own Baby?

You know, this is a question I've often skirted around online, but, I think it's fair for me to be completely upfront about my own road to surrogacy.  There were actually a lot of things that worked against me in terms of ever carrying my own child again, the first being a pulmonary embolism when I was 27 years old.  Because I had so many blood clots in my lungs, I was advised to never get pregnant again, and when I shockingly did get pregnant at age 29, I was advised to terminate the pregnancy; The high-risk specialists felt the pregnancy could end my life.  Sadly, I was never able to make my own decision in that scenario, because the pregnancy was ectopic, and, it caused my left fallopian tube to rupture.  Because I had such horrible endometriosis and adenomyosis, it was recommended that I have my uterus removed during my emergency surgery.  I agreed to that, and, I lost so much blood in surgery that I had to spend seven hours in the recovery room before I could even be transferred to a regular hospital room.  I was able to keep both of my ovaries, however, the one on my left side (where my fallopian tube ruptured) flipped, and, it is stapled in place to this day (it will eventually need to be removed).  I still have the tube on my right side and my right ovary, and, those ovaries are how I was able to create Hopelyn Jane.

What I Want You to Know...

For us intended parents, how our babies got to us is no different than traditional pregnancies, adoption, you name it.  The instant our babies are born, the torch is passed from the saints who brought our miracles to us, and, we take over from there.  We are no different than any other parent out there.  PS: Please don't ask us, "Why didn't you just adopt?"  Would you ever ask that to a pregnant woman?  Please take my word for it - that question is just as bizarre to me, as a former intended mother, as it would have been when I was pregnant with my first two children.

In the end, we clearly still have a long way to go in terms of educating the public on the surrogacy process.  It is a miraculous blessing, but it is clearly still misunderstood by many.  So, I will keep on blogging until I feel that my job is done.

Coming Soon...Hopelyn Jane's First Birthday Celebration!

Ashley is coming from Texas to celebrate with us - we can't wait!  Be on the lookout for some adorable photos from our ladybug-themed bash!

Cheers!